Thursday, January 10

Throwback Thursday: LA Gear

For today's Throwback Thursday, I present to you a commercial from the 90s for L.A. Gear, a shoe company.

 

This commercial is so awesome I don't even understand it. First, you have a bunch of young kids who materialize out of nothing in the middle of a desert and walk towards each other in trance-like fashion. Then one boy picks up a random black stone and pulls a slingshot out of his pocket, AND HE SHOOTS THE SUN!!! THE SUN EXPLODES!!! Shards of the sun are raining down on earth!

"Let's make a cheap Air Jordan replica"
Fade to black and a deep voiced man says, "You gotta own the light, if you want to own the night." Chills went down my spine. The kids still appear to be in the desert, only it is dark out, due to the fact that bowl-cut boy obliterated the sun with a rock. However, the moon still curiously shines, reflecting light from an unknown light source. (Maybe the shoes?) Apparently LA Gear thinks the moon is a light source on its own.

The kids walk single file into the distance, as their shoes light up and dust blows dramatically across the shot. The LA Gear logo pops up on the screen and the commercial ends. How did kids who saw this not run out and immediately beg their parents for these shoes?

So to rehash, if you buy LA Gear shoes, you can meet up with your friends in the desert, destroy the sun with a slingshot and walk home under the comfort of moonlight and the light of your shoes unscathed. Greatest shoes of all time.

By Aaron Brandt, moonlight expert.