Monday, January 14

Man finds brain in his KFC Chicken

A college student recently found a "brain-like substance" in his KFC the other day. Horrifying. I stopped eating fast food when I saw Supersize Me, and this really strengthens my case against such food. KFC immediacy came out and said it was probably a kidney, but is that any better? Of course all cooked parts on a chicken are edible, but when I order chicken, KFC should know that I don't mean brain/kidney.

Alleged brain/kidney substance.
Here's a few headlines I might be tempted to write if I were the editor of a newspaper.

  • "Chicken brain" no longer an insult; now a KFC menu item.
  • "KFC introduces 'Brain Chicken' for its cerebral patrons"
  • "Chickens don't 'think' KFC menu is a 'smart' idea"
  • "Man finds brain in his chicken; he doesn't mind"
  • "Man literally picks KFC's brain while eating"
  • "KFC introduces new Walking Dead promotion"
  • "Mind over brain matter at KFC"
  • "Kentucky Fried Chicken changes name to Kentucky Fried Brain"
  • "Our chicken is smarter than yours," said a defiant KFC.
  • "At least our kidneys don't have stones" said a defensive KFC.
  • "We weren't using our heads," said an apologetic KFC. "Well, technically we were."
  • "Eating at KFC no longer a no-brainer"
  • "KFC now brain lickin' good"
  • "Kidney waiting list at KFC only two minutes"
  • Chicken brains at KFC "still taste like chicken" according to scientists.
  • "Bad chicken! Mess you up!"

Check out my definitive ranking of Monopoly pieces here, and follow me on Twitter.

By Aaron Brandt, Chipotle eater.