Monday, December 31

My New Year's Resolutions

I hate New Year's Resolutions. I've never made them. I think it's stupid that you need a date on the calendar to make a positive change in your life, but that's just me. As Tyler the Creator aptly stated, "WHY WEREN'T  YOU TRYNA BE SOMETHING IN AUGUST?" But since the world ended and nothing matters anymore, I decided to indulge myself in a few resolutions.

A mousepad from a different era of GVSU football.
  1. Watch more soccer. I hate soccer, but I think I love soccer. So I am going to watch more soccer. I'll give some more details in an upcoming three part (tl;dr) blog. Like The Hobbit!
  2. Build something out of wood. If Chris Treagor can do it on Parks and Rec, I can do it in real life. I am going to use wood, hammers, nails and Google to construct something more substantial than a birdhouse, but less complex than a sawhorse. 
  3. Eat a gallon of ice cream. Meijer sells those giant tubs of ice cream, and I have always said I can eat one whole. So I will. Get on my level, Man who verses food.
  4. Sell "The Basics of Communication Research" for a sum of money. I hate this book, hated the class and hate the fact that Brian's Books offered me $0 to sell it back. And no bites on Ebay. Thanks, communications professor, who struggled with the English language.
  5.  Buy a new cologne. Time for a new scent, but I'm not over the fact that the lady at Macy's convinced me to buy a 30 year supply of Clinque for Men instead of the normal size. It's my nose's version of the A-Rod contract; occasional moments of greatness, but an inescapable commitment of length and money. 
  6. Get a new mousepad. I'm tired of my GVSU Brad Iciek mousepad from 2009 (remember when GVSU was in the playoffs?), but I don't think a person should ever pay for a mousepad. What a pickle I am in to start 2013.
  7. Survive the Fiscal Cliff. Wish me luck. And buy my book. On Ebay. The one I talked about in bullet number four.
By Aaron Brandt, and please buy his book on Ebay.