Thursday, October 11

If _____ doesn't win the Presidential Election, I'm moving to_____

We've heard it before. Around election time, it seems that people feel the need to dramatically declare that if their candidate loses the election, they are moving out of the country forever. Here's a short list! (Source:
  1. Cher
  2. Alec Baldwin
  3. Barbara Streisand
  4. Akon
  5. Seal
  6. M.I.A
Well, JetBlue is offering a free flight to several international locations for people who decide to take the international plunge. They will be giving away 1,006 tickets total. This is a terrific idea that's not only topical, but also free. There is a 0.0% chance I would have given JetBlue any thought without this campaign. Now I am booking a flight to the political utopia of Mexico (using the massive profits from this blog). 

In all seriousness, what incentive would entertainers have to forever leave the entertainment center of the world (and possibly the universe, depending on the cable networks from The Sombrero Galaxy)? Threatening to leave the country because a president loses the election is about as dumb as booking a flight with Northwest Airlines. 

Not that any of the listed celebrities are relevant anymore; Cher is in some dark corner of Vegas, 30 Rock is in its dying days, I think Barbara Streisand is a type of shampoo for the elderly, Akon got locked up and they won't let him out, Seal has a lower Q rating than an actual seal and M.I.A. has been M.I.A since she flipped off the entire Super Bowl audience. 

Enough with the threats to leave this country. There are still a lot of great aspects of American life that you cannot find anywhere else (such as the infield fly rule, Lance Armstrong with a good reputation, the Red Wings, Gander Mountain, Columbus Day, Penn State Football, Tebow, Tebowing, and camo mudflaps). America!

By Aaron Brandt, American.