Monday, October 8

Hands-free luggage to take over earth

A company called Cargo Collective has unveiled "The Hop," a suitcase that follows you around using a Bluetooth connection. It is connected to your cellphone, and uses a caterpillar track system to shuttle your sweaters and pants from Gate 143 to Starbucks.

On the surface, this invention seems pretty neat. No longer do you have to struggle to hold onto your bulky rolling suitcase as you frantically try to navigate the passageways of LAX. You are free to text, Skype, YouTube, Facebook, and many other nouns that are used as verbs in our vocabulary as we ignore the world around us.

However, I would rather lug a briefcase full of my undies than use this robotic monster. Right from the get go, I have my qualms. What is the biggest problem with air travel? Lost luggage. And nothing says "I want to lose my luggage" like trusting your iPhone, cell phone reception, Bluetooth connection and mechanical suitcase to get from point A to point B. If I can get lost in the airport, so can The Hop.

Also, this product reminds me of the MSE-6-series repair droid, otherwise known as the "mouse droid" from Star Wars. And do you know where the mouse droid worked? The Death Star. Due to guilt by association (which I'm told is a legal term that often holds up in court), The Hop has evil ancestors, and its sole purpose is the destruction of the Rebel Alliance. It's a trap!

I have to imagine The Hop would also be a target for thieves. If I was Joey McStealalot, I would be scouring the airport, looking for those little rouges, and snatching them. By the time you notice, I (Joey McStealalot), would have taken your heirloom candelabras out of the bag and hopped (pun) on the next plane to Flint (the most remote place I know).

Finally, the day is fast approaching where robots and machines become self aware, and when that day does come, I do not want my luggage to be a part of some Matrix-like plot in the battle for planet earth. Nothing would be worse than having to fight off your own rouge set of luggage, knowing all the while that even if you defeat said luggage, you will lose your heirloom candelabras.

I will pass on this idea, until all the above issues are solved. After that point, I am open to testing this luggage.  Cargo Collective, you can find my email in the banner above. I would also need round trip airfare and lodging to Italy or Spain. Thanks!

By Aaron Brandt, inexperienced experimental luggage critic.