Sunday, February 5

Swimmers Itch Super Bowl Predictions

Bud Light will come up with a safe, generic, sort-of-funny ad that everyone will almost like for two days before it goes into extreme repeat mode. (Hello, 3D TV commercial that is still on).

Chris Collinsworth will talk about "nerves" a lot.

There will be too many animal commercials.

Some car company will think it's a good idea to just show cool videos of their car. Millions will yawn.

Tebow will get dragged under someone's bus.

GoDaddy.com will put out another completely stupid commercial that sells nothing but Danica Patrick's lack of a win in an Indy car. #neverwonarace

Bob Costas will talk about how great it is to be Bob Costas. With special comments by Bob Costas.

The Komen Foundation will sponsor the kickoff. Then they won't. Then they will decide to sponsor the kickoff again, even after people have donated money based on the results of said kickoff. Then everyone will be mad.

People will talk during the commercials and I will have to watch them tomorrow.

Facebook will legitimatly be the most annoying place on the Internet, even worse than Reddit. Michigan-Michigan State game, then the Super Bowl? Log me out.

98% of Reddit uses will say, "What is sports?" Then create overly cynical memes and drink diet pop.

I will eat two DiGiorno pizzas, a bag of sour gummi worms, a box of Chips Ahoy, chips, nachos and nacho dip stuff and drink two liters of blue Faygo.

I might get my stomach pumped.

Jim Carey or Adam Sandler will have some awful movie coming out soon.

Millions of people will utter, "what?" after Madonna performs.

Oh yeah, and the Patriots will win. Because the starting center went to GVSU at the same time I did. How many Spartans are starting?


By Aaron Brandt, Advertising and Public Relations major looking for employment. That's a hint. aaronbbrandt@gmail.com.