Tuesday, December 27
Hershey's Miniatures Candy Bar Rankings
4. Krackel Bar. Don't even bother with this scourge of the mixed candy world. Low quality chocolate, mixed with some sort of cereal extract makes for a terrible candy. It simply has a cheap texture that is all but pleasing to the taste buds. A poor man's Crunch bar, if you will. People who enjoy infomercials and cheap knifes will get a kick out of this cavity facilitator.
3. Milk Chocolate. The classic chocolate candy. Just a great mix of smooth textures and sweet taste. You can't go wrong with this American icon, but when compared to the rest of the mix, it falls to third place. Consider it a Ford Fusion, that has to compete against a Mercedes-Benz and an Escalade.
2. Special Dark. They say eating a little dark chocolate every day helps your heart. Or your blood pressure. Or your eyesight. I have no idea what health benefits this candy has, but I do know that it tastes really good. It was meant to be eaten slowly and savored. Let the strong cocoa flavorings take control of your taste buds as you melt into a chocolaty world of friendship and happiness. This bar is good, and good for you (I think).
There you have it, the official Swimmers Itch rankings. Tune in next time as I rank the best shape of gingerbread man (arms up, arms down or arms outstretched?)
By Aaron Brandt, who would have at least consulted a lawyer about the deal Willy Wonka offered before turning it down at the end of that creepy movie/book.
at 11:26 PM