Saturday, October 15

Michigan vs. Michigan State: The ugly aftermath

So I don't know if any of you heard, but Michigan State beat Michigan 28-14 and I found the resulting Facebook/Twitter response more than humorous. Let me go over the classic reaction/war of words between Michigan and State fans.

MSU Fan: "Hey Michigan, we beat you 28-14! Four years in a row, little sister!"

Michigan fan: "Yeah, but we are 67-33-5 overall against your sorry school."

MSU Fan: "I don't care about the past. What was the score this year, little sister?"

Michigan fan: "We are still smarter than all of you anyway. You go to a farm school."

MSU fan: "Yeah? Your girls are all ugly, little sister."

Michigan fan: "At least we don't play dirty like you guys do."

MSU Fan: "We overcame all 13 of those penalties and you still lost by 14, little sister."

Michigan Fan: "At least we didn't cheat like you guys did 10 years ago. Spartan Bob."

MSU fan: "Scoreboard. Let's play basketball, little sister."

Michigan fan: "Your program is not elite."

MSU fan: "Your quarterback is not elite."

Michigan fan: "Why don't you go burn a couch."

MSU fan: "All of your fans are Walmart Wolverines."

Michigan Fans: "Because our school's standards are so high. That's why you didn't go here. You couldn't get in with your GPA. Go deliver my pizza"

MSU Fan: "Who won the game again?"

Michigan Fan: "We should have because you guys are cheaters. And your uniforms are ugly. That's not even your school's colors."

MSU Fan: "You don't even have a mascot."

Michigan Fan: "You will work for me someday."

MSU Fan: "You will...You...We...What was the score?

Michigan fan: "You smell bad."

MSU Fan: "You smell worse."

Michigan fan: "Want to stop pretending we care about football so much, and watch the Tigers game tonight?"

MSU Fan: "Sure."

Michigan fan: "Ok, save a pizza for the game, after you are done with your delivery route."

By Aaron Brandt, noted college football rivalry dialog writer.


Picture credit: Dale G. Young/The Detroit News