Friday, September 23

Writer's Block: The Musical

I open a new blog post. Blank page. No ideas. No motivation. Glancing at the white text box I see my enemy, that little blinking bar in the top left corner. It just sits there, flashing it's skinny frame at a regular interval, taunting me, "Hey, Brandt, when was the last time you blogged? August? You're no blogger. You are a hack. Go back to using Twitter with the rest of the bad writers." I can momentary silence his vitriol by typing a few meaningless words, but he comes right back, knowing that those characters have no purpose or direction.

Technically this pixelated demon is called an insertion point, but who really cares. He is nothing more than a reminder that I have not blogged about anything significant since July (hello Cru, and your nebulous new name), aside from a few stupid pictures and a few average video clips. And Mr. Insertion Point knows it. He knows that I haven't had time to write a decent blog. He knows I haven't even been looking for topics. And he knows that I have resorted to asking the Facebook world for topics. Oh the humanity.

So what am I going to do about it? I will kill Mr. IP. He is a dead man. I will forge through this drought of creativity and thought with shotgun blasts of words and paragraphs. I'll set up a hotline for people to call in and request topics. I'll open a P.O box so anyone can mail me ideas. I'll hire a staff to scour the web for interesting stories that I can obliterate with sarcastic salvos. Topics on topics. Posts on posts. Blogs on blogs. It might get messy,  but I am willing to try anything to rid my dreams of IP's haunting regularity. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. Enjoy it while you can, digital spawn of Bill Gates. I'm putting you out of a job like Steve Jobs.

By Aaron Brandt, who just bought a new set of Pilot G2 pens (blue).