Monday, May 30

Loose fingernail at Lutheran North

While taking in the LHN spring concert, I glanced down, and what do I see? A rouge fingernail just chilling on the ground next to a hanging chad from some long lost handout. Look at that beast. That is no ordinary hangnail. That was a premeditated removal, which could only have been accomplished with a jumbo sized nail clipper. No teeth are strong enough to rip off a chunk of cartilage that large. How boring must chapel have been for that situation to occur? "Hey, I think I am going to get out my manicure kit and go to town on my extremities right in the third row." A word of advice; it might be a good idea to simply get a broom on the mat that covers the floor. You know, so when larger body parts like fingers and hands show up, they get cleaned before a sarcastic blogging graduate returns to watch the choir sing "Silly Sixties."

I just figured I would gross everyone out because it's Monday.

By Aaron Brandt, who did not see any syringes on that long neglected gym floor cover.