Saturday, April 9

HEATWAVE WATCH 2011

80 degrees on Sunday!!! So that one time in my biology class, when the professor just put in An Inconvenient Truth and left us alone to watch the mockumentary, err documentary, it was all true?!?! AL GORE WAS RIGHT. Hide your kids, hide your wife, the weather's cooking everybody out here.

This has been a br00tal winter, and now we are going to get blasted with some hot fire from the west. Cue the shorts, sandals and sunscreen. Fire up the air conditioner. Chill the Kool-Aid. Break out the lawn darts. Fill up the kiddie pool, because it's gonna be Africa hot in the 616. Rest in peace, wardrobes of Northface fleeces, Uggs and tights. So long Colombia jacket. If it was a school day, I'd show up looking like David Hasselhof on Baywatch, only with bigger muscles. So have a happy "global warming consequences" day, or as they call it on the news, "Glenn Beck's fault day." Just remember that billions of polar bears died so you could have your little warm day in April. Shame.