Thursday, December 2

Aaron's Christmas List!

Christmas time is upon us. I am currently in my room looking out over a snow covered parking lot, drinking hot chocolate and listening to some Vince Guaraldi Trio Christmas jams. Ahh the good life. As I get older, there are fewer items on my Christmas list. In fact, this year I would be satisfied with one item, and one item alone. The Playmobil Security Checkpoint could be the greatest toy ever invented. Nothing says childhood fun like a plastic pat-down. Notice the racial profiling, as the scarf-wearing Arabic man is subject to cruel and unusual punishment by the TSA. I don't ask you readers for much, but if someone wants to give this to me, then send me an email and I'll get a mailing address ASAP.
The longer you wait, the more people buy plastic one way tickets from the Playmobil Airport in the Middle East to the Playmobil Airport in Detroit with no plastic luggage or plastic money and try to blow up our Playmobil Jet Plane. What's that you say? The security measures even didn't work? He got through this security checkpoint with a bomb anyway? Uh oh, looks like Playmobil needs to come up with a full body scanner toy, complete with a back room for private pat-downs. Of course that will lead to the need for a Playmobil court to settle all of those lawsuits. Anyway, this toy offers hours of fun, and denying it to any child is a crime, punishable by one year in Playmobil Abu Ghraib.


PS- I also accept cash donations as gifts (large bills only).

By Aaron Brandt, who has flown three times; twice in a plane and once in a space shuttle simulator.