Sunday, March 29

Annoying Facebook pictures

Facebook changed its layout. That means that I have to see more pictures people uploaded on the home screen. Now, don't get me wrong. I really don't care that much about Facebook in general. Anyone who joined an anti-new Facebook layout group, complained about the Terms of Service (See the epilogue), or got emotional when Facebook changed its layout needs to reorganize their priorities. The new layout tries to be Twitter, by posting a news feed of what is happening on Facebook. So now I have to see tons more hilariously stupid pictures by people trying to look cool. Let me give you some examples (click the images to see the full size):
1. Picnik. This is a website that gives you very basic photo editing tools, and a few tacky stamps to decorate your pictures. People go to the extreme and create entire albums of them, with large red lips, one of the same 12 fonts available, and some kind of black and white effect. No, you are not on the artistic edge of image editing. You are a Picniker.
2. The "educated pose". This pose is an attempt by the person to make themselves look smarter, by posing with books, using smart sounding quotes, or dressing up in a suit to take a picture in your mom's bathroom mirror. Sunglasses are optional, but reccomended.
3. The "tough guy pose". This pose is pretty simple. The person turns on their web cam and snaps a few pics trying to look as tough and cool as possible. A hood is a 100% necessity.
4. The "Abercombie Model pose". We all know at least one person like this. If it isn't Abercrombie, it isn't clothes. (Funny, because some Abercombie clothing isn't clothing at all...) Anyway, this pose involves putting on every piece of ripped, sandblasted, bleached, and greasy piece of A&F as possible. This picture is usually taken in front of a bathroom mirror or with several "bro's". What is a bro you ask? Well, a bro is the ultimate toolbox. A bro is a person who thinks they are the coolest thing on earth. They can be found "chillin" with other bro's, playin' some Box (X-Box 360), eatin' some za (pizza), and sheddin' some concrete("skateboarding" on a longboard, which is a long skate board that takes no skill to ride. What's an ollie?).
5. The "wankster pose". This pose is the wannabe gangster pose. A suburban white kid who has never traveled south of Hall Road puts on a flat brimmed fitted hat, an over sized t-shirt with some type of printed gold chain, and Nike Air Force One's. Also, the sideways two finger hand gesture is required.

There are a few other poses, but not as common. This is only the male side; trying to analyze the other side would take years and be far too controversial.

I mentioned earlier the terms of service on Facebook. Apparently, people got all worked up that Facebook was using uploaded pictures and holding on to them even after people terminated thier accounts. This led to a large rabble, until Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook came out and had to rewrite the facebook terms of service, with input from the users. I saw a few friends of mine joined groups in protest of the old terms, and it made me laugh (out loud). Seriously? Facebook offers a free web service, where you can up load tons of data, including pictures and video. You are storing all of this info on Facbook's servers, which isn't free. The fact that people are mad that Facbook is using your pictures that you uploaded to their servers for free is hilarious. When you put something on someone else's servers or store something somewhere besides your own computer, then I think you lose a lot of your privacy rights. I don't care what they do with my pictures, because I don't put up anything stupid like 74.6% of facebook users. Go ahead, share my striking portraits with the inter-webs, I would enjoy it. And that's...the rest of the story. RIP Paul Harvey.