Tuesday, November 25

Happy Thanksgiving

I will be returning to Mt. Clemens for Thanksgiving, so I probably won't update this blog. Happy Thanksgiving, enjoy all the gifts God had blessed given to you. In the mean time, I will be renovating the look of this blog to give it a more professional feel. I guess that means an end to the John Ham posts...

Monday, November 24

You went to a Lutheran School if...

Ok, since many of the people that read this blog are part of the Lutheran school system in some way, I decided to post this. I found this list online through various searches. The funny part of this is the fact that it is incredibly true. Note my comments in a different font and color.

You could name every single person in your graduating class
Yep, Kirsten Adams all the way to Teddy Zinc, its true.

You know you are right, and everyone else is wrong. End of discussion.

You can name all 12 of the Concordias, which is good for absolutely nothing, except for maybe this list...as you sit there and attempt to name them all ;)
Wisconsin, Ann Arbor, Chicago, Austin, Seward, Portland, St. Paul, Selma, Irvine, Bronxville. There's really only 10, but you can include the seminaries (Ft. Wayne, St. Louis). OK OK I cheated, but I knew about 7 of them.

St. Louis is considered your "mecca"
I made a pilgrimage as a lad. My padawans are scouring the archives for photographic evidence.

All of your religion teachers have told you something entirely different about the same section of doctrine
Sad but true.

Few of your teachers were actually good at their job, despite being "called".
They said it, not me.

It's impossible to lobby for the removal of any teacher, called or not called.
Has a teacher ever been fired? Its an honest question, if you know of one, please say something.

Chapel is always on Wednesdays, and you never quite figured out why...
Don't forget hot lunch.

You celebrate Lutheran Schools' Week, while the rest of the world just sits and wonders
Who could forget tinfoil day?

Dress code violations = breaking the 11th Commandment

At least half the girls in your school were dating the boys from the nearby Catholic high school
Oh, those dreamy De La Salle hunks. I mean, they have lacrosse...

You know that Wednesdays are "easy" homework nights because that's "church night"
And rebellion if some teacher forgets and gives even the smallest worksheet. And most of you didn't even go...

There are only 3 Lutheran churches actually represented at your school
(St. Peter Macomb, Trinity Utica, St. John Rochester)

At least 3 of your relatives and 6 of your friends' family members work in the Lutheran School system

At least 30% of your class goes to the same college

All of your male teachers are color blind
Many teachers cannot read this sentence.

Most of your friends have at least one parent that works at the school.
So true.

Half of the young teachers meet their spouse at their first call

Suggesting change (even if its just to the seating chart) is considered sacrilegious.
I heard something about not having a mixer this year...I don't mean to start a riot or anything.

You not only know the all the kids in your grade...but also all the kids in the grades above and below you (even if they attend the sister school above or below you) and their parents as well.

Even if you live in a Blue State, in mock elections at least 85% of the students will vote for the Republican candidate.
(And the people who voted democrat simply did it out of spite)

The computer lab uses modems from the mid-90's.
Windows 98 on a CRT display anyone? And what's a 3 1/2 Floppy Drive? Man that Pentium II is too fast!

You remember those white song books with the reddish-pink print on the front, from which you would sing "The King of Glory Comes" every Wednesday in chapel.
The King of Glory was bigger than Brittany Spears, N'Sync, and The Backstreet Boys combined. There wasn't a day this song was not requested in 2nd grade.

Calling your school anything but "Lutheran High" is sinful.
Don't want anyone getting confused with the poorly dressed people at L'Ance Cruise North or Detroit Northwestern

All of your friends live twenty minutes away from you.
(Farmada, Mt. Clemens, St. Clair, the planet Evan Ames lives on...)

Teachers define you by your older siblings and are never shy to tell you stories about them.
If I was Erik Shull, I would strangle the next person that even hints at Adam, the number 36, or rocket science. Leave the poor boy alone!

And I am sure I will get some heat for this, so here's my disclaimer. This is all in fun. I loved LHN. I loved the fact that I could freely express my faith with my peers at anytime. I loved being able to hear God's word in chapel everyday, and if I was lucky, I might even get some Law and Gospel. I was truly blessed to be able to attend Lutheran Schools my whole life until now. But seriously, why is every male teacher color bind?

Let it Snow

Let the deluge begin. The snows have begun in Allendale Michigan. About 2 inches fell in a few hours, and it has continued to snow lightly all day. The trek to class was dangerous, as the numerous black diamond-grade hills on campus were covered in snow. I refused to wear boots, a good choice, considering I would have been the only student to wear them on campus. Multiple snowmen have emerged, including a Calvin and Hobbes-esque collection of miniature snowmen in front of Fresh Foods. However, I am told this blissful honeymoon will come to an abrupt end, as this weather pattern will be repeated everyday until June. I'm told the lake effect snow is so bad, it occasionally snows fish. Oh well, watch for black ice,

Sunday, November 23

Joe Horn: Insert Foot In Mouth

"We still feel like they still haven't figured out what hit 'em up there. We know our defense is going to make the adjustments to give us even more opportunities to score on them. From what I've heard, they're scared to play us again."-Joe Horn, wide receiver for Ashland University on what he thinks about the outcome of the playoff game between Grand Valley State and Ashland. Joe caught 12 passes for 183 yards and 2 touchdowns in the last time the Lakers met AU, where GVSU narrowly won.
Well Joe, good plan. Grand Valley ended up winning 40-7 in an uncompetitive blowout (story of the football program) this past Saturday. But I'm sure Joe did all he could to back up his smack, if 4 receptions for 18 yards for no touchdowns is backing up his words... This was yet another boring Grand Valley massacre. There's really not much to say about this game other than Joe Horn's stupid comments. It was funny hearing Joe get torn apart by the GV student section, but after while, it got boring, as we all realized he didn't technically show up for this game. I can't wait until next week's blowout.
A few days back, I got my 4th free item in my mail order project. This time, it was 5 Tobacco Free posters with Tony Hawk on them. Way awesome. Skate on, Aaron

Wednesday, November 19

This Blog Will Not Cave

Recently, there has been pressure for me to stop using blogger.com and switch to Facebook Notes. I have posted several notes on Facebook, including my most controversial piece ever, "Mustang Fans Display Poor Sportsmanship". See, that's the cool part of Facebook. It is very accessible. Within hours, I was able to get terrific feedback from all sides of the issue. However, as I began reading some of the poorly constructed responses, I realized Facebook is for morons. Anyone can throw up anything with zero effort or attempt at professionalism. I expected to get feedback, but not expletive laden rants by whiny crybabies. Facebook is the reason America struggles with grammar. Bad grammar is acceptable on this website, and even promoted. Was something funny? lol. Do you not know? idk. Are you just kidding? jk. How articulate. Sure Facebook is great for finding old friends and leaving stupid messages, but not for serious writing. It has become popular recently to craft some "serious" work and then post it on Facebook. I don't really have a problem with this, in fact I have a link to this very blog on my own page. The feature that keeps Facebook on the same level as a gossip magazine is the tagging feature. Once you slap together your classical work of literature, you can tag people in your note. This means that if you are tagged, you will get a notification that directs you to the Facebook note. Some see this as a great way for lots of people to see your writing, I see it as a cheap way to get attention. By tagging me, the writer is basically forcing me to read his or her opinion. Its as if the Detroit News came to my house, went inside, and woke me up to point out all of the top stories. If this happened, most people would be furious. I am getting very tired of people tagging me with their religious and political enlightenment's posted on Facebook. Most of them are riddled with errors and contain overused cliches. It has become too easy to sound like an expert. I don't try to act like I am some sort of prophet or super-political scientist, I just tell it how I see it. Yet these Facebook notes have gotten out of control. I am sick of being tagged. I am not going to call anyone individually and tell them to visit this blog, I will let my writing speak for itself, and if it is good enough, people will hear about it eventually. I give mad props to all of my fellow bloggers who have not stooped to the tabloid level of Facebook notes. We put time into our work. Time to build a layout. Time to think out our points. Time to post it in an actual blog. Now I am not saying that blogs are the pinnacle of writing, but they certainly hold more weight than a note. So please, don't tag me in your sermons or your rants; take the time to put it on a better medium. And no, I will NOT be switching my blogs to Facebook Notes. I am not thirsting for attention that bad.
In other news, I'm glad the Indian Navy sunk the pirate mother-ship. Another reason I love America is that I am not worried about being attacked by pirates. At least not real pirates; there are still those strange people who actually think they are Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom and they actually think they have a decent British accent. They do still lurk amongst the shadows. I will judo chop the next pirate wannabe who even hints at the word "parlay".
And I am sad to see that Debby the polar bear was euthanized after a series of strokes at a zoo in Canada. Yeah...not really. I wonder if the gift shop will be serving bear venison soon... Oh well, keep on truckin, Aaron

Saturday, November 15

Quantum of Boredom sponsored by Ford

Last night, I went to the local Celebration! Theatre at the Rivertown Mall to see the new James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace. I was pretty excited, as I liked the last Bond movie, Casino Royale. I liked the direction the movie went, taking Bond away from all of his stupid gadgets and tricks, and making him more about the hand to hand combat. He was transformed from girlyman (Pierce Brosnan) to manly man (Daniel Craig). So yeah, I was pretty pumped. However, this movie was nothing but disappointing. It was basically a continuation of the last movie, which of itself had a complex story line. This move made it seem more complex, as it tried to resolve the old story line and at the same time add a new plot. But, being that it was a Bond movie, I was not too worried, since the best part of these movies is the action sequences. How disappointing. The scenes were horrible. The director tried to go Jason Bourne and show lots of fast, close fight scenes. All they ended up being was jerky and uncoordinated messes. The fights were totally ruined, as it was too hard to figure out what was going on. In one specific scene, a boat chase, it was too hard to tell who was going where, or even who was chasing whom (who?). Forget why they were being chased (or chasing someone), it ended up looking like a gaggle of bumper boats at the Farmada Fair.
Another aspect that chapped my buns was the obscene product placement. If Ford goes under, its because they spent 2000 million dollars to get their cars in about 98% of the movie. Bond drives an Aston Martin in only the first scene. The rest of his transportation is made up of several Ford Edges (Hydrogen or course, Bond is also now an environmentalist), a brand new Ford Ka (a Honda Fit wannabe), and a Ford Bronco. Its great that the most uncool car company ever (wow, nice Taurus) plays a huge part in one of the coolest guy's movie. Seriously, Ford? It seems as if everything that Ford is involved with always fails cough cough lions cough. Thats why I was dismayed to see my favorite band, Angels & Airwaves, used as the background to a Ford commercial. I guess that means the end of yet another great Tom Delonge band.
Of course the movie cost $8.50, which is exactly 42 and a half packages of Ramen noodles at the Standale Meijer. Good thing I hate Ramen. I strongly advise all of my faithful(?) readers not to waste their precious time and money on this terrible movie. I can't wait until the next Bond movie, starring Zac Effron as 007. Maybe not, either way, avoid this movie at all costs, please.

Wednesday, November 12

New GV Menu Items

Grand Valley has been looking to upgrade its menu. This is what they came up with.