Tuesday, September 30

On Track With Amtrack

Today, the Federal government announced it would be investing 30 million George Washingtons into the rail system, as more and more Americans turn to rail transportation due to high gas prices. Amtrak has carried more passengers in July (including myself) than any month ever. However, the money will go to create new rails, as opposed to improving the existing lines. This is the wrong move. The taxpayer money should go to all of the current lines. How you ask? Here are my suggestions:1. Mental Health Screenings. Many train riders are mentally unstable, and should not be riding trains. A simple mental health test would eliminate potential pshycopaths fro
m boarding trains and annoying the crap out of everyone on board.
2. Eliminate the "Sister Train". If you have ever ridden Amtrack, you will discover the dreaded sister train, or the slow train you are following. The sister train's only purpose is to drive(?) slowly, and cause delays for the brother train.
3. Provide Heat. Each passenger should be able to control the temperature of the jet that blasts you from above. There is no reason to shoot freezing air out during a 60 degree day.
4.Hire better P.A. guys. Its great that the conductor dude is keeping us informed, bu I don't really care what he has to say. He should drive the train.
5.Wash Stains from Seats. It would be great if the money could be used to eliminate bloodstains from my seat. Enough said here.
6. Improve the Station. My garage is nicer than the "train station" in Dearborn.
7. Give Mr. Hardy's dad a raise. He takes the tickets at the entrance, and he deserves much more, since he has to deal with morons all day.
8. Drill in ANWR. The extra oil would not solve our energy problems, but it would certainly help a little.