Panic in Tigertown! Should Prince Fielder be traded?

The Tigers just got swept by the mighty Indians of Cleveland. The streets of the Motor City are in chaos. Productivity has ceased. The Faygo factory has quit producing Rock & Rye. The Detroit Zoo just let all the animals free. Kid Rock is selling Nice Guy Beer. Urban gardens are being looted of their cabbages. And the 2012 Detroit Tigers are in a free fall.

I don't even want to listen to the radio. No doubt it will be full of overreactions, hyperbole and dramatic rants regarding Bobby Higginson Todd Jones Curtis Joseph Brandon Inge Ryan Raburn.Welcome to May, where Tiger fans panic, no matter what the record on the field is. 35-5 in 2006? Panic. The bottom will fall out and we will be first in line to draft Greg Oden or JaMarcus Russell. 22-18 in 2011? Panic. Fire Leyland, fire Dombrowski, trade Miggy for Cameron Maybin.

The season is early. Trades will be made. Pitching will improve. Hitters will hit. Slaters gonna Slate. But I am tired of seeing people call for the head of Jose Valverde, who cannot possibly come close to what he did last season. It is annoying to hear wild solutions like hitting Prince leadoff or putting Gene Lamont on a diet. Let the season play out and stop treating Sparky Anderson's theory that a team's record at 40 games determines it's fate as the law. Tell that to the 1987 Tigers. Tell it to last year's Pittsburgh Pirates. The quips of a Detroit legend do not qualify as fact.

Yes, there are various warning signs that point to a possible disaster. But the MLB season is long, and bats can get hot for no apparent reason, just as the pitching of anyone not named Fister and Verlander can improve. I refuse to panic (ie, tweet) about the team at this point. I'll panic the day the Tigers are mathematically eliminated. Then I'll just watch the Pistons become mathematically eliminated by drafting anyone not named Zack Novack. Shout out to Mitch McGary. Un-shout out to Gary Harris.

By Aaron Brandt, who not only missed the draft of his fantasy baseball league, he hasn't even signed into Yahoo since March (After winning both NCAA brackets). What he doesn't know cannot kill him. 

Should I bedazzle my graduation cap?

So I just received my cap and gown from GVSU, so I can walk across the stage at Van Andel Arena on April 28 at the graduation ceremony. Which brings up the important question. Do I bedazzle my cap? Everyone is doing it, apparently (according to the girls in my COM 495 class). And if so, what should it say? Here are a few mock ups I threw together. Let me know what you think.

The #1 version. Emphasizes the fact that I am, indeed, #1. 

The classic GV logo, for Grand Valley.

Just a little throwback shout-out to my high school. After all, I was vice president of NHS...

The unabashed Twitter plug. Seriously, follow me @AaronBrandt

I am also willing to sell the space on my cap. Pepsi, are you reading this?

By Aaron Brandt, who will never set foot in a lecture again. 

Michigan Football field's new hashtag

Michigan just painted a hashtag onto their football field. Obviously the old blue fans are going to hate it, just like they hated the forward pass and mobile quarterback, but I think it's a terrific idea. It really shows how far Twitter has come since its inception in 2006. I remember it was just over a year ago that Twitter was the butt of a lot of jokes and ridicule. Now it is a social network and advertising powerhouse. Businesses who ignore it might as well use carbon copy paper for receipts. Good for Michigan, and their innovation. #goblue

photo via @umichfootball

By Aaron Brandt, who was on Twitter before you were.

Chicago Cubs win the World Series*

I started writing about Invisible Children, but I lost focus and gave up on that shady organization. Google it if you care (you should).

On a lighter note, I saw this MLB 12 ad by Deutsch/LA, and I can't stop watching it.

The ad has a very cool atmosphere that reminded me of the Dark Night, only the bad guy in this commercial was probably Justin Verlander. There is a terrific emotional appeal that goes beyond the traditional "look at what you can do with the right trigger this year!" selling point.

I can't imagine what Chicago would be like if they did actually win the October Classic. Too bad it's never going to happen. Ever. The closest Cubs fans will ever get is this commercial, filmed with permission from the Cubs on a cold February night.

By Aaron Brandt, Detroit Tigers fan since the Briggs Stadium era. 

Leave animals alone!

Check out this video.



How stupid are people these days? This chimp clearly is upset by the baby, yet everyone else thinks its just hilarious. "LOL so cute, look at that wild animal go into fits of rage at my child! HAHAHAHA!" You know what isn't hilarious? Planet of the Apes. Those apes were probably hanging out in the zoo, and some clueless parent was flashing her child, and before you know it, the Statue of Liberty is half buried in sand. Boom, roll credits.

But honestly, I don't care how much glass is between me and an animal with super strength, I am not messing with it. Because one, that chimp could break through the glass and kill everyone. And two, even if the glass doesn't break, that chimp will never forget, and he'll tell his other chimp friends and he'll tell his chimp kids and those chimp kids will tell their chimp kids, and the legend will continue to grow until one day, the absolute perfect storm of opportunity strikes, and I find myself looking for my face, arms and legs in some shrubs. No thanks.

Get that baby away from the glass, because the chimp has absolutely nothing else to do but plot baby's demise. Literally years of sitting around thinking about all the ways it can get its chimpy hands on that baby and exact revenge, Tarzan style. Animals are not people. Just ask James Franco.

By Aaron Brandt, former zoo employee (that did not touch poop once in his tenure)